A Person Breaking Down Like Plastic

     We are so rarely within things in our society. Constantly we are resisting, stepping away, and attempting to escape. Why must those places that we need to be in and those people that we need to be around be in such great opposition to our being? Maybe if we stood in our trash, accepted that we are ugly, and thought about honesty in an organic way, desperate for life, in fear of apathy as a fear that casts aside anything but death, we could get on with our lives and allow our being to occupy those places that we need to be in and those people that we need to be around.

 

Marble Eyes

     The past haunts. It's painful. Things we experience of the past are not outside of us, in a time prior to now. Those things of the past still exist, just as things that they weren't before, when we knew them in the now. But they also don't exist in the now, even though we experience them in the now. Those things in the now become interpreted through those things of the past as we experience them. But sometimes this can't be avoided, like in dreams. I wonder what it's like to sculpt eyes in marble with a chisel, to think about how fragile and vulnerable eyes are as I hammer at them in pursuit of the perfection of my ideals.

Two Boys, 90 Youths, And Memory

     In the paper the other day, I read an article about 90 youths camping outside of Mexico City that were raped and beaten for several hours by twelve armed men. A few days before that on the front page was an article about two teenage boys that stabbed another boy to death and then burnt his body on a footpath. I watch Gus Van Sant's 'Elephant' and I wonder about what is remembered more of events, what I experience hearing about Columbine when it happened or remembering those things through Van Sant's characters and perspective. I don't quite know what to make of the two boys or the boy they killed, never having seen them or known them. I don't know what to say about the youths in Mexico or the gang that brutalized them, the whole thing fading and dissolving into this greater idea of Mexico. My proximity is in part what determines my experience of these violences. Van Sant brings me closer to Columbine through a completely fictitious account of high school shootings, but being a student, when I was a student, made it more real. Driving on Colvin brings the boys into the sidewalks, into my car, into a graspable time and dimension, their eyes on me and on the boy they set aflame, which now I can almost smell. I'm only able to know the Mexican children through violent acts I've been close to.

07.19.2012

A Halcyon mix.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/vvq9sqdxsd84ouq/07_19_12.m4a

1. Download - Were

2. Neon Indian - Psychic Chasms (Anoraak Remix)

3. Kettel - I Live You

4. Larvae - Telecast (feat. Jessica Bailiff)

5. Son Lux - Stand

6. Trentemoeller - Klodsmajor

7. Yagya - When They Stand, They Let Their Wings Down

8. Anhedonia - Ontology

9. Tzolk'in - Mictlantecuhtli

10. Lucidstatic - Night Vision (Reincarnated Remix by Displacer)

11. Integral - Doors

12. Wisp - lvl up

Die Selektion

     Die Selektion's self-titled album was released this last April on the record label Aufnahme + Wiedergabe, making an impression for the label as one to keep an eye on for upcoming unique and driven acts. The three-piece from Germany takes the underground electronic genres and supercharges the dissonance and rhythm with an extremely expressive trumpet that evolves emotions that can go missing in many electronic outfits. Desperation, solemnity, boundlessness, inebriation, and the ungraspable complexity of instantaneous experience, as well as the gaze of thoughtfulness, are driven through streets of the city by organic and varied rhythmic beats. Echoing and strained shouts and whispers punctuate and drag a wakefulness in the reflective and instinctive atmospheres. This is an album to walk and dance through the evening to.

To stream the album and/or give it a purchase:
http://aufnahmeundwiedergabe.bandcamp.com/album/die-selektion